Metanoia

Metanoia is my new favorite word. I've written it on notebooks, and used it as a mantra to my ever expanding life. "a fundamental change of mind and heart". This might be the only word to describe my inner space as of late.
          In one of my classes we have been discussing how it is grace from the a divine mystery that leaves room in our souls for change. In whatever way this concept translates to your understanding of life, it exists. It is seen throughout our lives in various but always significant degrees. It is both the seed of forgiveness and the growth received from acceptance. Grace is in our sorrow as the brief experiences keeping us from utter despair. It is seen in our joys, in our connections with our community and is cultivated by our relationships with others. This often unseen gift is what gives us strength.
         I was coherent enough this morning to watch the winter sky turn from black to pink. I watched from my bed as I was blessed with a dawning of a new day, and I am thankful. Grace.
       With a thankful spirit i see my life has continuously provided me with moments that can only be described as surreal. What is inspiring me, and changing me is not something I am ready to fully share. These are days of which words cannot fully explain. So please pardon the metaphors as they are the only way I know to make sense of it all.
         Moments of clarity are spreading forward like the light of a new day. That is to say I would be crazy to try and capture it. In vain I'm reaching out to slow it down, but all I can do is be present to the mystery as it unfolds. Grace.
           It is familiar, and yet unlike anything I have seen before. Both full of beauty and a nearly paralyzing fear which trudges ahead of impending change. If I examine it closely, it stems from the realization that everything is finite. Though what is life without the acknowledgement of an ending? Beauty would be missed, if infinity assumed. This has led to an honesty within myself that I've never experienced. A return to a mixture of self assurance and insecurity. This is new. This is surreal. This is grace.
          You know that game you play when you are silent with yourself? The magic question. "What would I do if I won the lottery?" or "If my life were a script, how would I write it?" My scene is playing out and all I can say is when the future you want is within your grasp you better leap for it. If I fall flat on my face, I'll get back up. Because I have to believe our experiences are what shape us for the better. All of this is created by listening for my cue. Embracing metanoia. Embracing grace.

-Abp 2016





(Metanoia definition acquired from Dr. Gerry Fialkowski)

Maid of Honor speech

Ladies and Gentleman,
If I could have your attention please. I know I’ve already had my chance to speak once today, but I’m wearing a few different hats so I humbly request you allow me just a few more words. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Ed’s former roomie, and long-time friend. But much more importantly, I am this beautiful, vivacious bride’s baby sister.

 Donna and I did not grow up together chronologically. Our family was not blessed to have had the chance to watch Donna take her first steps as a toddler, but we were blessed to cheer her on through every college semester. There were many times she could have walked away defeated, but that isn’t her style. Words don’t express how proud of her I am.

We didn’t get to hear her speak her first words. But we have been blessed by 20 years of encouragement, devotion and unconditional love spoken from her mouth. I do not know another human as selfless to the people she loves.

She has nursed me through no less than 3 broken hearts, countless hangovers, dental surgery, school decisions, and everything in between. This lady right here, has been there for me with love, and laughter in a way that only a big sister can be. She has been at my side, had my back, and more than once given me the shove that got me going in the right direction.

           

            I’d be remiss if I did not mention the man at her side. When I first moved to the metro area, I often found myself sitting next to my roomie with some Yuenglings, eating sausages, laughing and thinking “Man, I wish I knew a woman for Ed”. Funny how life works.

            I think we’d lived together about a year when I came home one day, rummaging through the kitchen before going away again when Ed said “I’m taking your sister to a baseball game.” Having been sufficiently informed on the situation ahead of time, I said “Oh yea? Are you taking my sister to a baseball game, or are you taking my sister to a baseball game?” To which he replied it was “probably the second one.”

From that day forward I never doubted for a second that they would end up here. He is the yang to her yin. She is the fiddle to his bow. And to this, I can say only three words. Raise Glass Donna, Ed- Check. Check. Mate.