"Wildflowers Don't Care Where They Grow"

I am who I am in part, because of you. I hear you whisper as you visit the subconscious of my sleep. You are that bit of happy that slips like smoke from my mind as I wake to start the day. A paradox, you are also a bit of the pain that gives me wisdom in my eyes. You are in day dreams, of memories that seem so close I could touch them. You exist as happy little pin pricks as I go about my day.

I walk this city, these burbs, and I think of you so often.
The baby who's father carried her picture through hell and back and she never knew.
He carried the picture and buried the pain. Not knowing of the picture, she carried the pain. Through hill and dale of the journey of your spirit, you never knew how fully you had always been loved. Always wanted. What I wouldn't do to fix that...
A survivor.
A comedian.
A traveler.
A helluva best friend.

A complicated soul, oft jaded by a past you put behind but couldn't run from.
Designer bags, forty five pairs of shoes, and a perfume I can smell but can't identify, fill my mind.
A closet full of things that decorated the fortress that you hid behind. Its walls built of sarcasm, humor, intelligence, and drive.
You came a long way from the girl with the frost on the inside of the windows.
But never forgot.
I hear your voice in my head sometimes when I am still. Advice, acknowledgements, little factoids and tidbits.

"There is no heartbreak too great for a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a good chick flick".
fact.

"Did you ever notice Condoms never come in small?"
Also, fact.

"There is nothing quite like a man in uniform. "
Sing it sister.

"I love you. I'm sorry."

The rest is silence.


"wildflowers don't care where they grow" is a song written by Dolly Pardon. All rights reserved.

To All the Single Fellas

Dear single men everywhere,

  As someone who has been to delving into the wonderful world of online dating too long to say recently, I have some thoughts to share on the subject, that might significantly help your chances on achieving your goal of, oh, I don't know. A date. With an actual person. Lets start at the beginning shall we? Now, this is a mistake I've come across way too often for it to be tossed up to a handful of socially unfortunate souls. "You're really pretty. What are you doing on a dating site/ Why are you single" is NOT an acceptable way to get me to talk to you. It sounds like a perfectly innocent intro. Compliment, question, get a response. Right? Right? No. Telling me I'm pretty and then following it up with one of the chosen two questions is not a compliment. You are insinuating that there must be something horribly wrong with me to be both beautiful and not already taken. Here is an example of how that interaction went most recently when that question was posed:

         gentleman2300:You're beautiful. Why single ?

          Me: Well, since you asked. I have glass eye that occasionally falls out onto the dinner table,     
          and people have an issue when I wash it in my drink and stick it back in.

Just so you are aware, that is the only response you will now get from me. That conversation is done. There is no coming back from that. Also on this list are gems such as: "Is your Mom hot? I just want to know what I'm getting myself into." and "I like them crazy". What the hell? Seriously. What are you thinking? That you're cute? Funny? I don't get it. In all honest, I do have to thank you for saving me the time I might have put into listening to any intro you had planned. But let's say for the sake of conversation you managed to get past the intros and I actually agree to meet up with you somewhere.
 Here's a sure fire list of actual things that have been said to me that make damn sure you won't hear from me again:
     1) fear is what stands between me and most people.
        (translation: I'm a racist asshole.)
    2) Can we split the bill? in itself not an issue but followed up with: If we were a couple I would pay, cause I know you'd get me back later, But....
        (Translation: I know I'm not getting sex tonight, and oh yea I'm a sexist asshole)
   3)  You make me look better just standing next to you. (Translation: I- I don't even know.)

Ya know what? On second thought: If you can't figure it out yourselves. I'm not spelling it out for you. I'm done. I'm too tired to be witty. To exhausted to try anymore. To quote Charlotte "I've been dating since I was 14. I'm exhausted. Where is he?!" I'm going to move to Italy and eat olives and drink wine with lots of pugs, big hats and red shoes. If I'm gonna get hit on by morons at least it will be in a different language.

Signed,
 Abbi with an i

Never Enough

I really could talk to you forever.

For a lifetime I could sit with coffee or nothing, and swap stories of my own, or things I've only read about while being lost in the words that come from your lips.

I'd like a week just to sit on a porch swing and discuss the grass, or what majestic wonders the clouds contain.

For a year we could walk along deserted small streets, wandering foreign cities while rambling about ancient kings, fabled heroes or more importantly the heroes we have encountered in our own troubled lives.

I want to lay in bed until the wee hours of the morning hearing the thoughts that make you tick, and then while we sleep the ticking that creates your thoughts.

Lets just drive and turn left whenever we want to. We'll eat popcorn and graham crackers, Listen to the radio and laugh.

I want to look down at our hands one day and wonder when did they grow smaller than the skin that protects them?

I want to be the people that others see sitting on the same side of a restaurant and are envious because its apparent even when we say nothing we are saying everything all at one time.

I really could talk to you forever.
For a lifetime.
For ten lifetimes and it still wouldn't be long enough.
Come laugh with me.
I have missed you.

-ABP 2014